Stuff buying ban update

Well it’s been… crap has it really been 11 days? It’s been 11 days since I started my “stuff buying ban” and I thought I’d give a little accountability update.

I’ve managed to stick to it for the most part. I very nearly bought some MP3’s the other day, but I stopped myself. Instead I just downloaded to my laptop a few songs that I had already paid for but never even downloaded. That being the case I think it’s obvious I shouldn’t be buying music- even if the site I buy it from tents to only charge 9 or 15 cents a song… if I’m not even downloading everything I buy, or listening to it for that matter… good call, adding music to the list.

I’ve managed to not buy books, but that comes from not allowing myself to go to book stores, the main problem in my book-buying addiction. I’ve been trying to read more over break as well. After the recent Harry Potter movies came out I decided to re-read the series, and I’ve just finished Prisoner of Azkaban- easily my favorite of the series. I had forgotten how well-crafted and delicious a novel the third HP book was. I mean, they’re all good, but I’d say that Prisoner of Azkaban is Rowling’s masterpiece: not only is she telling her best story, she’s also telling it with the most skill. The fourth book and on felt rushed, which I know they were, and the first two you can tell she was still learning. Really solid work, though, and they remain on my list of favorite books of all time for sure.

I’ve managed not to buy DvD’s, though Social Network was released today and I really want it. I’ve convinced myself to wait for my birthday on that one, anyway. I’ve been doing a great job with not buying clothes or toys or school supplies- yesterday I found a notebook from a semester or two ago, and I pulled out the pages with writing on it, kept what I thought would be useful, threw the rest away, and ended up with a thick enough notebook to not have to buy one like I usually do before each semester. So that’s nice.

The only thing that’s been rough has been fast food. I have managed to avoid places with drive-throughs entirely, but I realized not long after making this deal that not eating fast food causes me to spend more, not less, on food when I’m out of the house. Whenever I have work to do for the movie, which we do in the lab at my school, fast food is the cheap option for eating around campus, cheaper than eating on campus or at a real restaurant.

It’s hard to tell how much of a difference this is making in my spending because I never had real figures on how much I had been spending before, and I’ve been doing a larger portion of the grocery shopping for my house than usual, so I feel like it evens out, but perhaps to good effect. If I continue this into February, I might have to rethink the fast food vs. restaurants idea. It’s clear that eating at “real restaurants” is much more expensive. But is it better for me than the drive-through? Maybe not even.

Resolve to be Resolute.

In the month of January 2011
Gloria Adams-Hanley will not buy stuff.
• I will not buy books unless they are for school, because I have over 50 books on my shelves that I already do not have enough time to read.
• I will not buy Sylvia toys, because Sylvia has more than enough already.
• I will not buy fast food because it is unhealthy and expensive.
• I will not buy makeup because I rarely wear it, and it is usually destroyed by Sylvia before I’ve gotten my money’s worth.
• I will not buy DvD’s because I have all I need to watch.
• I will not buy memberships to websites because between WoW and Netflix, I am paying already as much as I wish to for entertainment.
• I will not buy music on the internet because I already have hours and hours of music on my computer and ipod, and if I want to listen to something new I have Pandora for free.
• I will not buy gadgets because I have enough to entertain myself with as it is.
• I will not buy school supplies because I have things around the house that I can reuse.
• I will not buy anything that will not make my life measurably better.

however,

• I will buy groceries for my family.
• I will buy the books I need for my classes.
• I will buy experiences that enrich my life or make me feel happy, such as tickets to experience a movie in the theatre, a pedicure to help my hurting feet, or dental service for my teeth, etc.
• I will buy gas for my car.
• I will buy memberships I have already bought, such as keeping my WoW subscription active, as well as my Netflix and MyFoodDiary subscriptions.
• I will buy, no more than once a week, a freebirds burrito. This one burrito does not count against my fast food ban.

Why are you doing this, Green?

Check out Kyeli's Book and Other Stuff Buying Ban at the Connection Revolution.

Ok, but why are YOU doing this, Green?

I suck at New Year's Resolutions. A year is a long time for me to promise myself I'm not going to do something, and especially if I promise myself I'm going to do or not do something really vague like "In 2011 I'll exercise more." Or "From now on I'll keep my room clean." These things won't happen. Self Awareness tells me that "from now on" or "for the rest of the year" does not work for me. Kyeli's bans are for all year, and I wish her luck. But the reason I failed at NaNoWriMo is that I get overwhelmed and I quit. So while I'd love to have a ban from now until the end of December... getting to the end of January will be hard enough.

We'll see how it goes.

Wish me luck.

NaNoWriMo: an Invocation

Here's a poem/prayer for all you wrimos out there. Just my way of cheering you on. :)



Write what you know. Write what you knew. Write what you’ve done. Write where you’ve been. Write what you’ve seen, what you’ve heard, what you’ve touched. Write who you are. Write what you believe. Write what you know but could never believe. Write what hurts you to think about. Write what makes you laugh every time you think about it. Write what makes you cry. Write what makes you think. Write what you know.

Write what you don't know. Write what makes you have doubts. Write what you wish you knew. Write what you wish the world was like. Find out what's wrong with that world. Write a way to fix it. Write what makes you think that we're doomed. Write a way to fix it. Write what makes you despair. Write a way to fix it. Write a maze. Get stuck for days. Write a way out. Write your way into a corner. Write your way out. Write what you think is impossible. Write what you think is impossible to write. Write what you don’t know.

Write the most beautiful things you’ve ever imagined. Write the most beautiful you ever felt. Write the first thing that makes you smile in the morning. Write the last thing that makes your heart jump before sleeping. Write the things you’ve imagined but could never make happen. Write the things you’ve planned and never had the means to do. Write the beautiful things in the world you want to see, write the beautiful things in the world you see every day. Write everything you see or think or remember that’s beautiful.

Write things that make you doubt your own sanity. Write things that make you doubt your genius. Write things that make you lose faith in humanity. Write the ugliest things you've seen. Write the things that shock you, write the things that shook you, write the things that left you lying flat on your back with the air knocked out of your lungs gasping for breath. Write the things you should have done, write the things you could have done, write the things you would have done if only you knew then what you know now.

Write a way to make it work, write a way to make amends, write a way to re-write history. Write a way to come to your own rescue and I promise you, promise you, that if you can do all this, that you will find out you have done the impossible. Write a way to overcome your fears, write a way to overcome your doubts, write a way to overcome your issues and I promise you, promise you, that when you read what you have written, that you will have done just that.

Literacy is the Most Direct Route to Freedom (Links Edition)

Hey! I’m having a super-busy day and didn’t get a chance to write up a blog, but I thought I’d provide some links to great information on banned books and other people working to raise awareness.

http://www.bannedbooksweek.org/

http://www.ala.org/ala/issuesadvocacy/banned/bannedbooksweek/index.cfm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/29/the-11-most-surprising-ba_n_515381.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banned_Books_Week

http://www.banned-books.com/

Literacy is the Most Direct Route to Freedom (part 2)

It's banned book week! I thought I'd celebrate by reviewing some banned or challenged books this week by writing reviews of them here in my dusty old blog. I'll try to get you five by the end of the week. Today I’ll talk about The Giver, a book I read for the first time and in one sitting this weekend. It’s been on the list of high-frequency challenged books for over a decade now, and was number 11 on ALA’s list of “Most Banned Books of the 1990’s.”

I firmly believe that everyone should read a dystopian novel at least once a year. I never feel more appreciative of the beauty of human life, nor more aware of the danger of losing it than when I have recently polished off a really good dystopia.

Like many Dystopias, the Community in The Giver is presented first as a peaceful utopia: main character Jonas is brimming with anticipation waiting to take his place in the Community, a place where there is no pain or suffering, where families are by definition nuclear. The best word I can think of to describe the community in the first half of the novel is sterile. Everything is perfectly planned, everything is accounted for, prepared for, and perfected by years of such attention to detail.

And then Jonas receives his placement: he has been chosen to be the “Receiver of Memory,” a mysterious position filled by one member of the community at a time. He becomes the apprentice to the old, fragile former Receiver, and he literally receives- telepathically- all the memories of generations of humans, including memories that precede the creation of the Community. Only then do certain facts about his world become apparent- 94 pages into the book I felt hit with a brick, realizing that I hadn’t noticed something painfully obvious about the rhetoric in the novel. As a writer I am inspired beyond telling at what Lowry achieved in this revelation.

Jonas, now aware of the possibility of raw human emotion, sees his world for what it is, and alone of his generation realizes what his people have given up to live the way they do. The book is a testament to the dangerous implications of trading potential happiness for guaranteed comfort.

So why is it so-often banned? It seems to have been challenged or banned primarily in middle schools, and the causes of these bans tends to be “unsuitable to age group” due to suicide and euthanasia. Personally, I disagree with the notion that these ideas are inappropriate for 13-14 year old students. I’ll point you to some statistics at http://www.familyfirstaid.org/suicide.html which I feel show that suicide is already an issue for pre-teens. If we want to reduce teen suicide, we need to make efforts to talk about what suicide is, what it means, how to survive the impulse. Reading and talking about books like “The Giver” could be a way to start those conversations without the worry of singling out at-risk students.

I personally feel that The Giver is appropriate for most students 12+, and is an excellent introduction to the idea of dystopia. I feel it is also an excellent resource for educators: the book can be used to discuss point of view, narrator bias, the difference between a society’s view of right and wrong and a more philosophical view of right and wrong, and the value of free choice. If I were to use it in the classroom I’d also view it as an excellent resource for teaching students how to mine a text for clues about what kind of world a character lives in: the revelation and de-layering of the society in the book is masterful. In fact, that’s the word I think I’d use for the book as a whole: masterful.

A side note for writers: The Giver won Lois Lowry her second Newbery award, and her acceptance speech available online here is one of the most profound resources I’ve ever read on inspiration and the life one leads as a creator of art. Check it out!

Literacy is the Most Direct Route to Freedom (Part 1)

It's banned book week! I thought I'd celebrate by reviewing some banned or challenged books this week by writing reviews of them here in my dusty old blog. I'll try to get you five by the end of the week. First up is "The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things" by Carolyn Mackler. I first read this book back in High School. I was a little older than main character Virginia, but we were going through the same things; weight issues, intimacy issues, trust issues, and a crumbling family life. Suffice it to say, this book has a very special place in my heart. When I found out it was one of ALA's most-challenged books of the last year, I can't say I was surprised, but I was definitely disappointed.

In The Earth, my Butt, and Other Big Round Things, protagonist and narrator Virginia Shreves tells a story of transformation from an unhappy, fat, fifteen year old girl to an empowered young woman. And here’s the catch: she makes this transformation without losing the fat. In fact, her attempts at dieting cause most of the heartache of the story for her, and only after she gives up on crash-dieting do things start looking up for her. The 2003 book tackles issues important to young, contemporary girls like eating disorders, emerging sexuality, and what happens when we see the darker side of a former idol. For these very reasons the book has been the source of some controversy, ending up as one of the top ten banned books of 2009 on ala’s website.

As the book opens, Virginia is having one of her first pre-sexual experience. Her pseudo-boyfriend is making his first attempts to feel her up under her shirt. If this isn’t enough to give a conservative reader pause, Virginia’s self-loathing soon takes center stage as we learn that she is overweight, unhappy about her body, and overshadowed by her perfect, beautiful, thin family. She writes a list she calls the “fat girl code of conduct” which stipulates that young women who are overweight don’t deserve real relationships, and in fact are bound by society to be secretly promiscuous to get attention from boys, without feeling the right to demand relationships out of fear that the attention will be cut off if they are required to be seen in public with a “fat girl.”

As the story continues, Virginia overhears the popular girls talking about how hot her older brother is and how unattractive she is by comparison. Less than five chapters in it is clear that this narrator has no self esteem and is fairly depressed about her life. When her older brother is accused of rape, her world spins upside down. She previously idolized her brother and cannot believe what he is being accused of. To escape the stress of her family life she visits a friend in another state, where she gets her eyebrow pierced. This is the first step to accepting herself and seeing herself as powerful and in control. She goes on to change her wardrobe and dye her hair bright purple.

There is a lot about the story that could be considered inappropriate and offensive to young audiences, but these are precisely the sections of the book that ring most true. The book has been banned for being inappropriate for young audiences, for sexual references, and for discussing sexual abuse. But having read the book, I feel that these subjects are dealt with in an appropriate way, and in fact are the kind of subjects young girls need to be educated on. Virginia is a heroine because she finds herself, finds pride in herself without starving herself or otherwise doing harm to her person. She does a few unorthodox things that parents might not want to see their kids doing like piercing eyebrows and dying hair purple, but the way taking control of her body empowers her is so transformative and enlightened an idea for a YA novel, that I feel banning this book is to ban the idea that young women don’t have to conform or behave to be human. The message of this book is so valuable, and so tied to the very things about it which are controversial, that I feel it should be celebrated rather than banned.

It has, indeed, been celebrated. The Earth, My Butt, and other Big Round Things has been included on ALA’s Best Book for Young Adults list, the YALSA top ten list, been a nominee or finalist for dozens of book awards, and when it was banned in Caroll County Maryland a petition of over 350 teenagers demanded it be returned to their high school bookshelves. The impact of Mackler’s book is far-reaching. Rather than banning or challenging this book, I applaud it for tackling difficult and real issues that young women face. I would encourage any young woman in crisis over her weight to read and look for inspiration in Mackler’s The Earth, My Butt, and other Big Round Things.

Too overwhelmed to update, so here's an update about being overwhelmed.

I live a dangerous life. Not one of mile-high obstacles, g-force travel or jumping off buildings or bridges suspended by elastic- not that kind of dangerous. Not that kind of danger. But I do live a life that could be potentially dangerous to myself.

I basically have two emotional modes with very little grey-area between them: bored and overwhelmed. The line between these two settings is dangerously thin, and I’ve never been much of a tightrope walker. I’m far too easily bored, and so I pile on more and more responsibility, more and more projects or classes or opportunities, until I cross that line and the water comes rushing in. The floodgates open and suddenly I can’t tell up from down.

I don’t have a solution for this yet. In fact, I’m swirling in a swimming pool of overwhelm now. It’s a pattern, a destructive pattern and I know it. What I don’t know is how to fix it. How to be interested in my life without the constant danger of it all caving in on me.