Monday, September 13, 2010

Too overwhelmed to update, so here's an update about being overwhelmed.

I live a dangerous life. Not one of mile-high obstacles, g-force travel or jumping off buildings or bridges suspended by elastic- not that kind of dangerous. Not that kind of danger. But I do live a life that could be potentially dangerous to myself.

I basically have two emotional modes with very little grey-area between them: bored and overwhelmed. The line between these two settings is dangerously thin, and I’ve never been much of a tightrope walker. I’m far too easily bored, and so I pile on more and more responsibility, more and more projects or classes or opportunities, until I cross that line and the water comes rushing in. The floodgates open and suddenly I can’t tell up from down.

I don’t have a solution for this yet. In fact, I’m swirling in a swimming pool of overwhelm now. It’s a pattern, a destructive pattern and I know it. What I don’t know is how to fix it. How to be interested in my life without the constant danger of it all caving in on me.

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