What do you need to feel safe? How do you make yourself safe?
Would you stand on the edge of a cliff if you were afraid of falling? Would you go to the edge every day, knowing what would happen if you went an inch too far? If you build a railing to keep yourself away from the edge, to protect yourself from getting too close, would you cross it? You wouldn't do it with your life, so why would you do it with your money?
I've been attending church for the past few weeks, and while I'm not going to get into the biblical aspects of the message, I want to share the effect it had on me. They've had a series the past few weeks called "Margins." Margin is defined as the space between your current activity and your limits. They've applied the idea of margin to time management, ethical behavior, and this week: money.
I can identify with the struggle to put distance between yourself and your limits. My mom lost her job at the beginning of this summer, and we've been living on a tighter budget ever since. I've done my best not to worry about it though. There's money in the bank, and Joshua's job isn't ideal but it is reliable.
But when Joshua walked into our bedroom Sunday morning with an ad for a laptop at Walmart that was as good as mine (we paid $1000 for mine a couple years back when the market was less desperate) for $400. I told him that making a purchase like that scared me, because we only have so much money, and I didn't know how to feel safe about money. Then we went to church without making a decision, and lo and behold, the message was about how to live with financial margin. Perfect timing.
We shouldn't have to worry about money. If you think about it, the more you have the more you have to lose. The more money your job makes, the more competitive your position is. The more money you make, the more stress money creates. Seems like it would be the other way around, and I think at a certain point it is. If you don't make enough money to survive you're not secure. If you're in deep debt because you're living on more money than you make, then you're not secure. But if you're making a million dollars a year and spending a million dollars a year, then you're not secure, either.
It's all about the buffer zone. If you're using every penny you make, when an emergency happens you have to rush to cover your ass. But if you have a buffer zone - an emergency fund - a margin - call it what you want, if you leave little wiggle room you won't end up in a tight spot. So Joshua and I had a long talk about what it takes for me to feel safe about money. For me, that's Living Expenses + Commitments +$1,000. If I have $1,000 in savings and have all my bills paid for, the rest is just icing. If I feel safe, I'm not going to freak out over a small or even a large purchase. That surprise car repair is no big deal. If I feel safe I don't start fights with my beautiful Joshua when he makes a purchase that threatens my sense of security. So Joshua got himself a laptop. And I feel safe. Everyone wins.
How much money do you need to feel safe? Think about it.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Why I Go To Church (Even though I'm a filthy sinner)
I'm not good at making new friends. It's not a skill I possess. As a student it was easy to find people to hang out. You're in English? I'm in English, too! Let's have lunch together! But even now, in college, it's harder. Most college students don't have babies or spouses, and those that do are generally a few years older than me, and their lives are already too full balancing family and school to need me. So I'm alone.
My mother once told me that it's harder to make friends as an adult because you can only meet people at work, at church, or in bars. Which for us means there aren't a lot of places to meet people like us. I don't work, and I have nothing in common with people at bars. Namely because unless there's karaoke I don't want to be in a bar. And even then, I'm not too happy about the karaoke being in a bar. So that leaves Church.
I quit going to church in middle school when I was first coping with the reality that I was definitely bi- and probably just a big fat lesbian. I knew I liked girls and only rarely liked boys. I knew pictures of muscle-y men turned me off, and that probably meant I was gay. I've since made peace with the fact that I like some girls, and have fallen in love with the least macho guy ever. But at the time I was sure it was a huge problem. I "knew" that Christians hated gays, and thought they were going to hell. I "knew" that the only reason to go to church was to save yourself from hell. So I figured, why bother? They're going to hate me anyway.
I remember when I was first dating Joshua and he brought me to his church- not to the service but to the college-age youth group. They'd sing songs for about 15 minutes and then sit around a circle where a guy would discuss a bible passage and what it meant to people living in the 21st century. How to apply it, how to make meaning out of it. And even when I disagreed, I was interested. I like disagreeing. I like debating. And after the bible study everyone would go out for burgers. And I thought "I could get into this." I don't necessarily agree with them about God or the Bible, but I liked burgers.
I fell out of the habit after Sylvia was born- I was afraid they would judge me terribly for being pregnant. They were, after all, Christians. And in my head I defined Christians as judgmental. But a month or so ago when my mom lost her job I was hurting. I had no one to talk to that wasn't living through the same problems I was. No one with perspective. No one who could understand my worry for my marriage and my child. No one who had any reason to believe it would get better. So I went to church. I went to the Young Family's group, a group filled with young couples who are worried about their marriages and their children, who have faith that it will all get better.
Maybe it's petty, but it helps. I don't feel so alone.
My mother once told me that it's harder to make friends as an adult because you can only meet people at work, at church, or in bars. Which for us means there aren't a lot of places to meet people like us. I don't work, and I have nothing in common with people at bars. Namely because unless there's karaoke I don't want to be in a bar. And even then, I'm not too happy about the karaoke being in a bar. So that leaves Church.
I quit going to church in middle school when I was first coping with the reality that I was definitely bi- and probably just a big fat lesbian. I knew I liked girls and only rarely liked boys. I knew pictures of muscle-y men turned me off, and that probably meant I was gay. I've since made peace with the fact that I like some girls, and have fallen in love with the least macho guy ever. But at the time I was sure it was a huge problem. I "knew" that Christians hated gays, and thought they were going to hell. I "knew" that the only reason to go to church was to save yourself from hell. So I figured, why bother? They're going to hate me anyway.
I remember when I was first dating Joshua and he brought me to his church- not to the service but to the college-age youth group. They'd sing songs for about 15 minutes and then sit around a circle where a guy would discuss a bible passage and what it meant to people living in the 21st century. How to apply it, how to make meaning out of it. And even when I disagreed, I was interested. I like disagreeing. I like debating. And after the bible study everyone would go out for burgers. And I thought "I could get into this." I don't necessarily agree with them about God or the Bible, but I liked burgers.
I fell out of the habit after Sylvia was born- I was afraid they would judge me terribly for being pregnant. They were, after all, Christians. And in my head I defined Christians as judgmental. But a month or so ago when my mom lost her job I was hurting. I had no one to talk to that wasn't living through the same problems I was. No one with perspective. No one who could understand my worry for my marriage and my child. No one who had any reason to believe it would get better. So I went to church. I went to the Young Family's group, a group filled with young couples who are worried about their marriages and their children, who have faith that it will all get better.
Maybe it's petty, but it helps. I don't feel so alone.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Those Who Fight Monsters
Tuesday my grandmother and I went to cause a ruckus at our senator's office down in Austin. We made a day of it, but the most important stop was to John Cornyn's offices. We talked to a very polite republican about Health Care, and she heard us out, took our names and some notes, smiled and sent us on our way. In the elevator we met a few others who were there for the same reason: liberals there to cause a pro-healthcare reform scene. I joked the other day on twitter about "harassing my senator." Really, we were polite and calm while explaining why we thought the republicans were all idiots. Really though, we were well behaved. I get the feeling that a lot of the people there on our side were not polite, though. And that got me thinking.
I worry sometimes that people who work for the rights of one group so alienate the people outside of that group that they become as discriminatory as the people they supposedly work against.
We have to keep in mind the fact that not everyone who is on the other side is a monster. My heart hurts when I see people whom I respect on one side of an issue become as oppressive and discriminatory as those they oppose. Protecting the rights of a minority is of huge importance to me, and I think it is a proper priority for our country and our lives. Whether you're protecting a race, a gender, an orientation or a lifestyle I think you're doing good work. But as Nietzsche once said, "Those who fight monsters should take care that they never become one."
We're becoming monsters. We're characterizing the other side as mindless freaks or slaves to conformity- we're accusing them of the same horrors they have persecuted us for. Maybe they deserve it. Maybe the extremists on the other side are just as bad as they think we are. But when we monsterize them, when we dehumanize them to make them seem like a big bad ultimate evil what do we lose? The moderates.
I'm a moderate. I'm a normal who loves freaks, but I'm a little freaky and I love normals. I see so many beautiful things on both sides but I also see lot of hate. But as time goes on and the good work continues, I'm starting to see more hate on the side I support. I don't know how to tell them that they sound less revolutionary and more hateful. We criticize those lunatics in town hall meetings raving against health care reform- I don't know how to say that when you yell for it I can barely tell the difference.
We must be certain that our voices sing the praise of the better world, and our fingers point the way, and not the blame.
I worry sometimes that people who work for the rights of one group so alienate the people outside of that group that they become as discriminatory as the people they supposedly work against.
We have to keep in mind the fact that not everyone who is on the other side is a monster. My heart hurts when I see people whom I respect on one side of an issue become as oppressive and discriminatory as those they oppose. Protecting the rights of a minority is of huge importance to me, and I think it is a proper priority for our country and our lives. Whether you're protecting a race, a gender, an orientation or a lifestyle I think you're doing good work. But as Nietzsche once said, "Those who fight monsters should take care that they never become one."
We're becoming monsters. We're characterizing the other side as mindless freaks or slaves to conformity- we're accusing them of the same horrors they have persecuted us for. Maybe they deserve it. Maybe the extremists on the other side are just as bad as they think we are. But when we monsterize them, when we dehumanize them to make them seem like a big bad ultimate evil what do we lose? The moderates.
I'm a moderate. I'm a normal who loves freaks, but I'm a little freaky and I love normals. I see so many beautiful things on both sides but I also see lot of hate. But as time goes on and the good work continues, I'm starting to see more hate on the side I support. I don't know how to tell them that they sound less revolutionary and more hateful. We criticize those lunatics in town hall meetings raving against health care reform- I don't know how to say that when you yell for it I can barely tell the difference.
We must be certain that our voices sing the praise of the better world, and our fingers point the way, and not the blame.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Review Review.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Review of Everyone You Love Will Be Happy Soon Part 3 of 3
Continued from Part 2 posted on the 9th.
On Husbands & Wives continues what Nation of Two started. A beautiful song about love that gives some of the best advice on love you can give: "Love is less what you say and more what you do." I think a lot of people talk the love talk before they're ready to walk the love walk. It's clear that Muse takes his love, his wedding vows very seriously. The examination that Muse gives us of love, of his love, is a beautiful gift. I feel incredibly lucky to find myself identifying with it.
With How To Fake Like You Are Nice and Caring, however, Muse shows a darker side. As a follower of his blog here on blogspot I'm very familiar with his spiritual journey out of christianity. This song, of all on the album seems to reflect that journey. I have to admit, this is probably my least favorite song on the album. There's one of those "dissenting into noise" rifts before a melody change in the middle of the songs, and while the harmonies are beautiful, I think there's a painfulness that inhabits the song that I don't quite understand. I never skip it, though. To say it's my least favorite does not mean I don't like it; it's simply less personal to me. "Is it such a sin to want to save our skin from the mess we've made that we made in faith?"
When I Am Empty Please Dispose of Me Properly is a beautiful instrumental interlude that while having no lyrics, speaks volumes to me. This is one of those pieces of music that belongs on a movie soundtrack. As a lead in to On Modern Men it is expressive and perfect. The latter song is probably one of the best songs the band does live. The song starts of slow and somber. It could almost be a prayer for a dying humanity to find a way. Then after nearly two minutes the tone changes, the tempo picks up, and there is transformation. The last time I saw Quiet Company in Concert the Rocket Boys joined them on stage to sing the chorus: "We have crawled from the water to the dry land and our hands are the dirtiest." Unfortunately I am incapable of describing properly the theatrical impact of the performance, or even of the continued impact on me every time I hear this song now. When I think of brotherhood- of human oneness, this is the theme song. "And they want you to take a bow. Everybody here's allowed one. So make it good, son."
The album is concluded with Congratulations April and Lucas, which is almost an Epitaph for the album. The tone and tempo are subdued, and the sound is slightly different from the rest of the album, with some electronic-muting sounds that I can't place. But the lyrics are totally in place: "I'm gonna count my bessings, I'm gonna count my sacred things, like the baby I caught smiling at me, or how my lady loves me effortlessly." If only we all had this in our hearts and never forgot it. As much as I see Taylor Muse in his blog struggle with the complexities of faith and righteous living in an unrighteous world, there is a calmness in this piece that I think everyone can relate to. Sometimes life is hard, but we must step back and take count of the beauty around us. Someone who three songs before was singing "I wish you'd climb down off that cross and burn it, if it's not doing any good we could use the wood" turns here to sing "Oh there must be a God somewhere in the universe, maybe looking after me."
I do not know the four men that make up Quiet Company personally, but I've found such solace and peace in their music that I cannot help but be grateful to them and to their art. Everyone You Love Will Be Happy Soon is the most important album in my life since Missy Higgins' Sound of White found me in 2005. You can listen to it online at http://quietcompany.bandcamp.com or you can just buy it at http://www.quietcompanymusic.com/store/. They can be followed on Twitter and play frequently in and around Austin, TX.
Check them out, I beg you. You'll thank me. This album changed my life in a totally non-hyperbolic way.
On Husbands & Wives continues what Nation of Two started. A beautiful song about love that gives some of the best advice on love you can give: "Love is less what you say and more what you do." I think a lot of people talk the love talk before they're ready to walk the love walk. It's clear that Muse takes his love, his wedding vows very seriously. The examination that Muse gives us of love, of his love, is a beautiful gift. I feel incredibly lucky to find myself identifying with it.
With How To Fake Like You Are Nice and Caring, however, Muse shows a darker side. As a follower of his blog here on blogspot I'm very familiar with his spiritual journey out of christianity. This song, of all on the album seems to reflect that journey. I have to admit, this is probably my least favorite song on the album. There's one of those "dissenting into noise" rifts before a melody change in the middle of the songs, and while the harmonies are beautiful, I think there's a painfulness that inhabits the song that I don't quite understand. I never skip it, though. To say it's my least favorite does not mean I don't like it; it's simply less personal to me. "Is it such a sin to want to save our skin from the mess we've made that we made in faith?"
When I Am Empty Please Dispose of Me Properly is a beautiful instrumental interlude that while having no lyrics, speaks volumes to me. This is one of those pieces of music that belongs on a movie soundtrack. As a lead in to On Modern Men it is expressive and perfect. The latter song is probably one of the best songs the band does live. The song starts of slow and somber. It could almost be a prayer for a dying humanity to find a way. Then after nearly two minutes the tone changes, the tempo picks up, and there is transformation. The last time I saw Quiet Company in Concert the Rocket Boys joined them on stage to sing the chorus: "We have crawled from the water to the dry land and our hands are the dirtiest." Unfortunately I am incapable of describing properly the theatrical impact of the performance, or even of the continued impact on me every time I hear this song now. When I think of brotherhood- of human oneness, this is the theme song. "And they want you to take a bow. Everybody here's allowed one. So make it good, son."
The album is concluded with Congratulations April and Lucas, which is almost an Epitaph for the album. The tone and tempo are subdued, and the sound is slightly different from the rest of the album, with some electronic-muting sounds that I can't place. But the lyrics are totally in place: "I'm gonna count my bessings, I'm gonna count my sacred things, like the baby I caught smiling at me, or how my lady loves me effortlessly." If only we all had this in our hearts and never forgot it. As much as I see Taylor Muse in his blog struggle with the complexities of faith and righteous living in an unrighteous world, there is a calmness in this piece that I think everyone can relate to. Sometimes life is hard, but we must step back and take count of the beauty around us. Someone who three songs before was singing "I wish you'd climb down off that cross and burn it, if it's not doing any good we could use the wood" turns here to sing "Oh there must be a God somewhere in the universe, maybe looking after me."
I do not know the four men that make up Quiet Company personally, but I've found such solace and peace in their music that I cannot help but be grateful to them and to their art. Everyone You Love Will Be Happy Soon is the most important album in my life since Missy Higgins' Sound of White found me in 2005. You can listen to it online at http://quietcompany.bandcamp.com or you can just buy it at http://www.quietcompanymusic.com/store/. They can be followed on Twitter and play frequently in and around Austin, TX.
Check them out, I beg you. You'll thank me. This album changed my life in a totally non-hyperbolic way.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Review of Everyone You Love Will Be Happy Soon part 2 of 3
Continued from Part 1 posted on the 7th.
Seal My Fate is another song about being in love. It starts with the image of a photograph "that our kids will look back on and laugh and they won't believe that we ever were young" but that life is hard now. "I'm so out of it but I know I'll get used to it 'cause everybody does." Even in this tired view of current hardship the band joins in to sing "Come on, the sun is up now and we want it all."
The Beginning of Everything at the End of the World. I don't know what to say about this song other than the fact that it is perfect. It will have it's own blog in the next couple of days. I'll keep you posted. Let's just say for the sake of this post that this song is great and you just need to hear it. Red & Gold is one of the few Quiet Company songs that starts out soft and slow and stays that way. I've said before that I think Quiet Company songs belong in movies. This is the kind of song that I mean. It's very low-key but beautiful. "Take your time discussing all your needs; cause every road will end up at the sea. So you can spend your days on your hands and knees. By evening time I hope you've found some peace."
My New Year's Resolution Is to Cope with My Mortality. "And maybe life is like the autumn trees and I'm just one of many very mortal leaves, just praying to the fates that we survive the freeze." This is just one of the many philosophies on life that Muse offers in this album that I think are great ways to live. This album seems to be a way for Muse to come to terms with things like God, love, and death. "No one really can explain the rest/ what's gonna happen to us when we die/ can it really be the same for everybody?"
There are two songs on this album titled "Congratulations ___ &___" The first is Congratulations Seth and Kara. I've heard this song over a hundred times and still cry 2 out of 3 times I listen to it. It's basically a love song for his brother. "You carried me up when the mountains were steep, and you lifted me up when the waters were deep, so I'll do what I can to be the brother you need, and thank you Seth for being a brother to me." This is one of those songs that's personal and beautiful, another emotional achievement by the band.
Golden (Like the State) makes me incredibly happy. Another song that could not be written without intense love. "All my life I've waited for a love that could not be ignored in good conscience, a love I could ascend to." This song's a little more 'catchy' than most QC songs, and of all their music I think that this is the song that could be the biggest radio hit.
The next song, "Well, the Truth Is" starts out as the darkest of the songs, but about a minute and a half in something changes, the tempo increases and the lyrics speak of shedding these dark parts of ourselves and "let 'em all go tumblin', tumblin'. And here's where the second best piece of advice I can possibly give you comes in. "The truth is that everybody that I love may or may not be happy soon but I wouldn't waste time loving someone else if you don't love yourself."
To be continued on the 11th.
Seal My Fate is another song about being in love. It starts with the image of a photograph "that our kids will look back on and laugh and they won't believe that we ever were young" but that life is hard now. "I'm so out of it but I know I'll get used to it 'cause everybody does." Even in this tired view of current hardship the band joins in to sing "Come on, the sun is up now and we want it all."
The Beginning of Everything at the End of the World. I don't know what to say about this song other than the fact that it is perfect. It will have it's own blog in the next couple of days. I'll keep you posted. Let's just say for the sake of this post that this song is great and you just need to hear it. Red & Gold is one of the few Quiet Company songs that starts out soft and slow and stays that way. I've said before that I think Quiet Company songs belong in movies. This is the kind of song that I mean. It's very low-key but beautiful. "Take your time discussing all your needs; cause every road will end up at the sea. So you can spend your days on your hands and knees. By evening time I hope you've found some peace."
My New Year's Resolution Is to Cope with My Mortality. "And maybe life is like the autumn trees and I'm just one of many very mortal leaves, just praying to the fates that we survive the freeze." This is just one of the many philosophies on life that Muse offers in this album that I think are great ways to live. This album seems to be a way for Muse to come to terms with things like God, love, and death. "No one really can explain the rest/ what's gonna happen to us when we die/ can it really be the same for everybody?"
There are two songs on this album titled "Congratulations ___ &___" The first is Congratulations Seth and Kara. I've heard this song over a hundred times and still cry 2 out of 3 times I listen to it. It's basically a love song for his brother. "You carried me up when the mountains were steep, and you lifted me up when the waters were deep, so I'll do what I can to be the brother you need, and thank you Seth for being a brother to me." This is one of those songs that's personal and beautiful, another emotional achievement by the band.
Golden (Like the State) makes me incredibly happy. Another song that could not be written without intense love. "All my life I've waited for a love that could not be ignored in good conscience, a love I could ascend to." This song's a little more 'catchy' than most QC songs, and of all their music I think that this is the song that could be the biggest radio hit.
The next song, "Well, the Truth Is" starts out as the darkest of the songs, but about a minute and a half in something changes, the tempo increases and the lyrics speak of shedding these dark parts of ourselves and "let 'em all go tumblin', tumblin'. And here's where the second best piece of advice I can possibly give you comes in. "The truth is that everybody that I love may or may not be happy soon but I wouldn't waste time loving someone else if you don't love yourself."
To be continued on the 11th.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Review of Everyone you Love Will Be Happy Soon part 1 of 3
Last night I didn't get to go to the Quiet Company show at Antone's. I was pretty upset about it. We don't have a car right now so I'm pretty much at the mercy of the people I'm with. I went to see a production of "R.U.R.: Rossum's Universal Robots" at the Vortex last night and while it was over by 11, when QC would have been playing, my ride wasn't into the idea, so I didn't get to go. This makes me especially sad 'cause I missed a show last Thursday because I had the Flu.
I care a lot about going to see Quiet Company when I can because I think they're a lot better than most of the bands you hear on the radio and see on T.V. and they need the support. They need people to show up at their shows wearing t-shirts with their name on it. They need fans and support so I feel a little like I'm required to be that for them. Why do I feel so strongly about them? Well, it's because their music rocks.
I fell in love with the band a couple years back when they opened for Eisley at the Parish Room. Quiet Company had a very unique sound and was memorable because the Singer/Guitarist/Keyboardist looked like he was having some kind of episode on stage. I have since said that "When Taylor Muse sings it's like he has something to tell you that's so important he might die. Or Explode." On stage he is explosive, even at the most recent show we attended at Emo's, he claimed to have no voice and even apologized to me for a show I thought was amazing anyway.
So I've decided to write a review of their latest album, Everyone you Love Will Be Happy Soon. This isn't a music blog, nor am I a music critic. I'm just a person who's touched by a song. Well, several songs. I love Quiet Company's music but the reason I'm a fan is the Lyrics. This album could have easily been called "the best advice I can possibly give you." This is the album that I listen to in times of crisis to help me find my way. This post will be presented in three parts because it’s just that damn long.
The album starts, appropriately with a chord on a piano, somewhat staccato, as if the piano is being banged on. Muse joins in with a beautiful story about traveling the world looking for companionship. The refrain of Nation of Two contains what is, in my opinion, the best advice ever given. In fact, since hearing the song I have given this advice to several friends. "I found if you really wanna love somebody it will cost you more than you have, I can guarantee you that." At this point the music really joins in and it's magical. Instruments join in slowly. The 'Quiet Company Sound" doesn't fully start until the second refrain. In that way the Album warms you up so that you're ready for it. A beat established with a piano, a voice that is textured with the weight of the importance of its message, then triangles, then an instrument I cannot place, and then the full band. The only problem I have with this song is the end. I absolutely hate when any song uses the "peaceful sounds degenerate into a cacophony of noise" trick. Any song that ends like that I keep my hand on the "next song" button so I don't have to hear it.
It especially annoys me here because "It's Better to Spend Money Like There's No Tomorrow Than to Spend Tonight Like There's No Money" is my favorite song. No really, of all of the songs I've heard in my life it is my favorite song. Best advice in this song: "You better stop and smell the roses, you better love the life you live. And you better take note of when it's killing you. We all end up in a cemetery." This message is prevalent in our culture
: Seize the day, live life to the fullest. But the phrasing here is most perfect. It's quite possibly the most cheerful song about dying I've ever heard. "When your heart's full of dancing, you better dance 'til you're dead." What better advice is there on how to live your life?
Our Sun is Always Rising gives me chills. The song opens slow, and then has moments of intense piano before calming again for another verse. One of the most awesome things about Taylor Muse is the love he has for his wife, Leah. I say this because I've met him, seen him in concerts, and because I read his blog. But mostly, I've listened to his music. This is music that could not be written by someone who wasn't in love. And when you listen to this song you feel that love.
To Be continued on the 9th.
I care a lot about going to see Quiet Company when I can because I think they're a lot better than most of the bands you hear on the radio and see on T.V. and they need the support. They need people to show up at their shows wearing t-shirts with their name on it. They need fans and support so I feel a little like I'm required to be that for them. Why do I feel so strongly about them? Well, it's because their music rocks.
I fell in love with the band a couple years back when they opened for Eisley at the Parish Room. Quiet Company had a very unique sound and was memorable because the Singer/Guitarist/Keyboardist looked like he was having some kind of episode on stage. I have since said that "When Taylor Muse sings it's like he has something to tell you that's so important he might die. Or Explode." On stage he is explosive, even at the most recent show we attended at Emo's, he claimed to have no voice and even apologized to me for a show I thought was amazing anyway.
So I've decided to write a review of their latest album, Everyone you Love Will Be Happy Soon. This isn't a music blog, nor am I a music critic. I'm just a person who's touched by a song. Well, several songs. I love Quiet Company's music but the reason I'm a fan is the Lyrics. This album could have easily been called "the best advice I can possibly give you." This is the album that I listen to in times of crisis to help me find my way. This post will be presented in three parts because it’s just that damn long.
The album starts, appropriately with a chord on a piano, somewhat staccato, as if the piano is being banged on. Muse joins in with a beautiful story about traveling the world looking for companionship. The refrain of Nation of Two contains what is, in my opinion, the best advice ever given. In fact, since hearing the song I have given this advice to several friends. "I found if you really wanna love somebody it will cost you more than you have, I can guarantee you that." At this point the music really joins in and it's magical. Instruments join in slowly. The 'Quiet Company Sound" doesn't fully start until the second refrain. In that way the Album warms you up so that you're ready for it. A beat established with a piano, a voice that is textured with the weight of the importance of its message, then triangles, then an instrument I cannot place, and then the full band. The only problem I have with this song is the end. I absolutely hate when any song uses the "peaceful sounds degenerate into a cacophony of noise" trick. Any song that ends like that I keep my hand on the "next song" button so I don't have to hear it.
It especially annoys me here because "It's Better to Spend Money Like There's No Tomorrow Than to Spend Tonight Like There's No Money" is my favorite song. No really, of all of the songs I've heard in my life it is my favorite song. Best advice in this song: "You better stop and smell the roses, you better love the life you live. And you better take note of when it's killing you. We all end up in a cemetery." This message is prevalent in our culture
: Seize the day, live life to the fullest. But the phrasing here is most perfect. It's quite possibly the most cheerful song about dying I've ever heard. "When your heart's full of dancing, you better dance 'til you're dead." What better advice is there on how to live your life?
Our Sun is Always Rising gives me chills. The song opens slow, and then has moments of intense piano before calming again for another verse. One of the most awesome things about Taylor Muse is the love he has for his wife, Leah. I say this because I've met him, seen him in concerts, and because I read his blog. But mostly, I've listened to his music. This is music that could not be written by someone who wasn't in love. And when you listen to this song you feel that love.
To Be continued on the 9th.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Notes from a semi-average existence
I wanna talk to you today about something that bothers me a lot. I have a lot of wonderful friends who want to change the world. When they talk to me about changing the world I smile and nod, but I don't really have anything else to say because I don't think the world needs saving. And even if I did, I think they're doing it wrong, because what they see as being wrong with the world isn't fixable.
It's because the problems they have with the world involve making other people change what they're doing. Now, some people want this change, and if they can help these people become happier in themselves, then it's a great service they're providing. But some people don't want that, and I wonder how my friends feel about them. One talks a lot about how she hates people who just accept their life the way it is. I'm not sure why because I think that's a kind of contentment that 's necessary.
There are a lot of people in this world who are unhappy with their jobs/lives/families. But just as many people are actually pretty happy with it. And I'm including he people who work at WalMart, or Kinkos, or that hair salon. You might walk through WalMart and glance at the people in blue vests and think to yourself "How can these people possibly be happy with their lives!?" But who are you to determine what they want out of life?
There's a guy working in the pets department who's passion is video games. His friends all live in their parent's houses and don't have jobs and smoke pot. They all play video games together non-stop and his friends make fun of him for having a job and not having the hours to put in on their games. But he just laughs because he knows that his job allows him to live in an apartment with roommates, and gives him the time to do what he really wants to do: play his games. Maybe you're looking down on him for his ideal but that's what he wants and he has it. His job doesn't interfere with his hobby.
Or there's the girl in the hair salon. You go in to get your hair cut at some chain store- you know she's not an owner of her own place, she's just a hairdresser. And you think to yourself "How can she be happy working for someone else? Why doesn't she open her own salon!?" But if you knew her you'd be damn proud of her. She graduated high school and was forced by her parents to go to community college because they were ashamed she wasn't going to "real college." Her parents tried to force her into getting an associates degree in finance. What did she want? She wanted to cut hair. She already did hair cuts and dye jobs for all of her friends, and never was she happier. She got a job working as a receptionist in a hair salon and just knew that's what she wanted to do. She wanted to help make people pretty. So she defied her parents and goes in for cosmetology. They cut her off so she puts herself through whatever classes she needs to take. And now she has her dream job. Owning her own salon would mean business and that's not what she likes. She likes chatting with customers while she changes their look. You might look down on her, but she's happy.
Sure, there are tons of people in the world unhappy with their positions, or working for new ones. But lots of people are satisfied with what they have and what they are. If someone's happy with a simple life, who are we to say that they aren't living their life right? I don't have a problem with helping people who need it. But when you criticize someone for not having enough ambition you're judging their lives when you haven't lived it. Just because working for someone else wouldn't make you happy, doesn't mean there aren't people who are satisfied with that life.
Don't be so afraid of being average that you're afraid of average people.
It's because the problems they have with the world involve making other people change what they're doing. Now, some people want this change, and if they can help these people become happier in themselves, then it's a great service they're providing. But some people don't want that, and I wonder how my friends feel about them. One talks a lot about how she hates people who just accept their life the way it is. I'm not sure why because I think that's a kind of contentment that 's necessary.
There are a lot of people in this world who are unhappy with their jobs/lives/families. But just as many people are actually pretty happy with it. And I'm including he people who work at WalMart, or Kinkos, or that hair salon. You might walk through WalMart and glance at the people in blue vests and think to yourself "How can these people possibly be happy with their lives!?" But who are you to determine what they want out of life?
There's a guy working in the pets department who's passion is video games. His friends all live in their parent's houses and don't have jobs and smoke pot. They all play video games together non-stop and his friends make fun of him for having a job and not having the hours to put in on their games. But he just laughs because he knows that his job allows him to live in an apartment with roommates, and gives him the time to do what he really wants to do: play his games. Maybe you're looking down on him for his ideal but that's what he wants and he has it. His job doesn't interfere with his hobby.
Or there's the girl in the hair salon. You go in to get your hair cut at some chain store- you know she's not an owner of her own place, she's just a hairdresser. And you think to yourself "How can she be happy working for someone else? Why doesn't she open her own salon!?" But if you knew her you'd be damn proud of her. She graduated high school and was forced by her parents to go to community college because they were ashamed she wasn't going to "real college." Her parents tried to force her into getting an associates degree in finance. What did she want? She wanted to cut hair. She already did hair cuts and dye jobs for all of her friends, and never was she happier. She got a job working as a receptionist in a hair salon and just knew that's what she wanted to do. She wanted to help make people pretty. So she defied her parents and goes in for cosmetology. They cut her off so she puts herself through whatever classes she needs to take. And now she has her dream job. Owning her own salon would mean business and that's not what she likes. She likes chatting with customers while she changes their look. You might look down on her, but she's happy.
Sure, there are tons of people in the world unhappy with their positions, or working for new ones. But lots of people are satisfied with what they have and what they are. If someone's happy with a simple life, who are we to say that they aren't living their life right? I don't have a problem with helping people who need it. But when you criticize someone for not having enough ambition you're judging their lives when you haven't lived it. Just because working for someone else wouldn't make you happy, doesn't mean there aren't people who are satisfied with that life.
Don't be so afraid of being average that you're afraid of average people.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Many of these comics are NSFW, but this post is.
It all started with Tasty Flesh (nsfw). You see, Martin Whitmore, artist and creator of Tasty Flesh was living with us at the time, and because he was awesome I became a diligent follower. I was never really into comics that didn't appear in my local newspaper before. I associated comics exclusively with super heroes. I'm not a fan of super heroes. But with Tasty Flesh I became aware that Comics could be a lot more. This was art that tells a story, and I'm a sucker for stories. And art.
In High School I had actually been a fan of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal which is different from most of the comics I read now in that while it is wildly inappropriate and funny, there's no continued storyline. SMBC is the kind of comic that regularly horrifies and delights at the same time.
Next came Girls With Slingshots which is a totally different kind of WebComic in that there are no Zombies. I became hooked on this one because it runs a lot like a really good TV sitcom. The characters are well defined, there are sad-stories and funny-stories, and the characters are all more witty than most people in real life. The main character, Hazel, is easy to identify with, and the art is pretty awesome.
Next came You'll Have That which is now running a new comic called Myron and Charlie. You'll have that was a comedy about a young married couple, and was awesome in that like most good art and fiction, I saw a great deal of myself in Andy and Katie. This was one of many Archive reads, where I came to the comic as it was officially ending, and I simply read through the archives in about a week. It was great comic, and I wish Wes Molebash luck with Myron and Charlie.
Next came Penny and Aggie which is sort of like a guilty pleasure. It's about a bunch of high school girls and how mean they are to each other. It takes a while to get on its feet: it starts out really cheesy and hokey, and it turns out the strip was originally for newspaper comics, but after wading through about 120 issues they go from Newsprint-like Comic to Manga -like Comic, and the change was very beneficial. The first 120 help you get into the characters, but the story gets good around Uptown Girl (124), and by Behind Closed Doors (350) the comic has shed any and all comparabilities to Luann in the daily paper. By Dinner For Six (417) all the great high jinks you need in a story revolving around teenagers have arrived on the scene. The sex, the confusion, the secrets! It's a great story and if you've made it this far you're in for a treat: from Vertigo to 20 2020 Pennies is one of the coolest teen drama storylines I've seen done. Ever. The story is sufficently heartbreaking and interesting. Somehow T Campbell has managed by this point to give his characters a life and will all their own, mapping out the stupid mistakes and unconsidered consequences of youthful indiscretion perfectly. From this the story moved on to the epic undertaking The Popsicle War, wich finished up early this year. After such successful runs of Vertigo and The Popsicle War, the current storyline is a bit of a letdown. But I have faith that the upswing is coming.
Along with P&A came Menage a 3 and I'm pretty sure from the title you can tell it's not safe for work. It's the guiltiest of guilty pleasures. Considering I started off my Comics obsession with Tasty Flesh, I think I'm in a position to say that Ma3 is one of the sexiest comics on the internet. I've seen some more explicit ones that reallt are basically porn, but Ma3 does have a plot, and the nudity is always either nessicary for telling the story, or really damn funny. This comic is not for the faint of heart, or the very religious.
Next we have We The Robots which is undoubtably one of the best. Unfortunately this one is also over now, and relatively short. But the style, story, and heart of this comic cannot go unmentioned. I think it's honestly my favorite webcomic. It touches my heart so often, and I've re-read the archives about three times just because it is beautiful, and the medium of art is just so unlike anything else I've seen.
Finally we have my most recent obsession: Questionable Content. It's probably the most famous comic I've listed here. It's certainly the most prolific. I read through the entire 1400+ comic archive in about a week. I was totally taken in by the characters, the obscure music references, the mocking of American subcultures, the psychoses of the various characters. Plus, the AnthroPC (Anthropomorphic Computer, yes.) Pintsize totally reminds me of my little brother, Chance. The comic might also be one of the oldest I've mentioned here, and the art has come a long long way, baby. If you don't read it, I implore you to start with update 1, laugh at the art, and enjoy as I did (maybe not as fast as I did) how the art progresses. The story is always there, my friends. The art simply matures to a point where it's on the same level.
So that's it. Those are the comics I read, and the ones I'm sad to see no longer updating.
I'm currently accepting links to awesome webcomics to get into. I hope to make many future Webcomic reviews in the future. I'll keep you posted on what I'm reading next.
In High School I had actually been a fan of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal which is different from most of the comics I read now in that while it is wildly inappropriate and funny, there's no continued storyline. SMBC is the kind of comic that regularly horrifies and delights at the same time.
Next came Girls With Slingshots which is a totally different kind of WebComic in that there are no Zombies. I became hooked on this one because it runs a lot like a really good TV sitcom. The characters are well defined, there are sad-stories and funny-stories, and the characters are all more witty than most people in real life. The main character, Hazel, is easy to identify with, and the art is pretty awesome.
Next came You'll Have That which is now running a new comic called Myron and Charlie. You'll have that was a comedy about a young married couple, and was awesome in that like most good art and fiction, I saw a great deal of myself in Andy and Katie. This was one of many Archive reads, where I came to the comic as it was officially ending, and I simply read through the archives in about a week. It was great comic, and I wish Wes Molebash luck with Myron and Charlie.
Next came Penny and Aggie which is sort of like a guilty pleasure. It's about a bunch of high school girls and how mean they are to each other. It takes a while to get on its feet: it starts out really cheesy and hokey, and it turns out the strip was originally for newspaper comics, but after wading through about 120 issues they go from Newsprint-like Comic to Manga -like Comic, and the change was very beneficial. The first 120 help you get into the characters, but the story gets good around Uptown Girl (124), and by Behind Closed Doors (350) the comic has shed any and all comparabilities to Luann in the daily paper. By Dinner For Six (417) all the great high jinks you need in a story revolving around teenagers have arrived on the scene. The sex, the confusion, the secrets! It's a great story and if you've made it this far you're in for a treat: from Vertigo to 20 2020 Pennies is one of the coolest teen drama storylines I've seen done. Ever. The story is sufficently heartbreaking and interesting. Somehow T Campbell has managed by this point to give his characters a life and will all their own, mapping out the stupid mistakes and unconsidered consequences of youthful indiscretion perfectly. From this the story moved on to the epic undertaking The Popsicle War, wich finished up early this year. After such successful runs of Vertigo and The Popsicle War, the current storyline is a bit of a letdown. But I have faith that the upswing is coming.
Along with P&A came Menage a 3 and I'm pretty sure from the title you can tell it's not safe for work. It's the guiltiest of guilty pleasures. Considering I started off my Comics obsession with Tasty Flesh, I think I'm in a position to say that Ma3 is one of the sexiest comics on the internet. I've seen some more explicit ones that reallt are basically porn, but Ma3 does have a plot, and the nudity is always either nessicary for telling the story, or really damn funny. This comic is not for the faint of heart, or the very religious.
Next we have We The Robots which is undoubtably one of the best. Unfortunately this one is also over now, and relatively short. But the style, story, and heart of this comic cannot go unmentioned. I think it's honestly my favorite webcomic. It touches my heart so often, and I've re-read the archives about three times just because it is beautiful, and the medium of art is just so unlike anything else I've seen.
Finally we have my most recent obsession: Questionable Content. It's probably the most famous comic I've listed here. It's certainly the most prolific. I read through the entire 1400+ comic archive in about a week. I was totally taken in by the characters, the obscure music references, the mocking of American subcultures, the psychoses of the various characters. Plus, the AnthroPC (Anthropomorphic Computer, yes.) Pintsize totally reminds me of my little brother, Chance. The comic might also be one of the oldest I've mentioned here, and the art has come a long long way, baby. If you don't read it, I implore you to start with update 1, laugh at the art, and enjoy as I did (maybe not as fast as I did) how the art progresses. The story is always there, my friends. The art simply matures to a point where it's on the same level.
So that's it. Those are the comics I read, and the ones I'm sad to see no longer updating.
I'm currently accepting links to awesome webcomics to get into. I hope to make many future Webcomic reviews in the future. I'll keep you posted on what I'm reading next.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Why I'm not freaky enough to be a Freak, or Normal enough to be named Norm
This all came about as a reaction to a few friends of mine starting this cool thing called the Freak Revolution. You can go to http://freakrevolution.com to learn more about them. I love them - and by them I mean Pace and Kyeli, who started the freak revolution. I came upon them while they were doing The Usual Error, which was very freak-positive, but applied equally to non-freakies and psudo-freakies like myself. Because I loved them, I joined up and signed up for the discussion boards and Google group and the like. I've only posted once, on the introductions page.
So why am I not active in the Freak Revolution? I love the people who started it, and I love some of the more active members. Why don't I speak up more? It's the same reason I don't speak up more in groups of very socially normal people. I'm not like them.
See, the application for the Freak Revolution asked a few simple questions, one of which was "What Flavor of Freak Are You?" I had a very hard time answering this question. Because while I might be a bit of a nerd, I am not a freak. Think about it: I'm a 22 year old woman, I am in a monogamous relationship with a man, and we have one baby. We play video games, I go to college, and my husband works at Wal-Mart. We go to a Christian church on Sundays, eat meat at most meals, watch a lot of television and celebrate most national holidays. I don't have any tattoos, my ears are the only thing on my body pierced, and the most crazy color I've ever had in my hair was a bright red that at the end of the week looked sort of natural anyway.
I'm just not very freaky. I have a freakish sense of humor I guess. I'm freakishly overweight. I like zombie movies and webcomics and D&D and WoW... but that kind of freakitude pales in comparison to the Bi-poly-trans-pagan-geeks that Freak Revolution is made for. My introduction piece basically could have said "The freakiest thing about me is that I love freaks" and been pretty accurate. I do love freaks. My Bi-poly-trans-pagan-geeks are some of the nicest, coolest, most interesting people I've ever met. But if Freak Revolution was meant to give them a place to feel comfortable where they're not in the minority for being freaks, then I'm the one in the minority.
In the Freak Revolution, I am the freak, sticking out like a... well, like a freak.
I have no problem with being a freak. I actually find myself wishing I could be freakier... you know, so I could fit in? But that's not who I am. I think there was a point in my life where I had two options: be a freak, or be a Norm. I had no problem with either path. There's a little freak inside me who whispers in my ear every now and again: Wouldn't dying your hair blue be seriously AWESOME?!? But I don't because I chose a path of being a brown-haired mommy. I'm ok with that. I'm just a little boring. Sometime in the future I might give in, just to get a taste of the freak within. But it hasn't happened yet.
I think the biggest problem I have with the freaks is that they keep asking me what I think is wrong with the world. And I do think there are some wrong things. But really, I think the world's a pretty cool place and the things that are wrong with it have to do with people trying to pretend to be things they aren't. Like people who will do anything to become rich when their most marketable ability is that they're willing to hurt people for money, or people who choose to believe that people who are different aren't worth love, respect, or dignity. I think most if not all of the world's problems wittle down to these at their core.
So I'm going to take a tip from my Freaky Friends and be the change I wish to see in the world.
My name is Green. I am not a Freak, but I am Freak-Positive. I am not willing to hurt people for money, power, or esteem. I think that people who are freaky deserve love, respect, and dignity.
Unfortunately, this makes me different from a good majority of my peers. Hey, I think I just found my freaky-thing.
So why am I not active in the Freak Revolution? I love the people who started it, and I love some of the more active members. Why don't I speak up more? It's the same reason I don't speak up more in groups of very socially normal people. I'm not like them.
See, the application for the Freak Revolution asked a few simple questions, one of which was "What Flavor of Freak Are You?" I had a very hard time answering this question. Because while I might be a bit of a nerd, I am not a freak. Think about it: I'm a 22 year old woman, I am in a monogamous relationship with a man, and we have one baby. We play video games, I go to college, and my husband works at Wal-Mart. We go to a Christian church on Sundays, eat meat at most meals, watch a lot of television and celebrate most national holidays. I don't have any tattoos, my ears are the only thing on my body pierced, and the most crazy color I've ever had in my hair was a bright red that at the end of the week looked sort of natural anyway.
I'm just not very freaky. I have a freakish sense of humor I guess. I'm freakishly overweight. I like zombie movies and webcomics and D&D and WoW... but that kind of freakitude pales in comparison to the Bi-poly-trans-pagan-geeks that Freak Revolution is made for. My introduction piece basically could have said "The freakiest thing about me is that I love freaks" and been pretty accurate. I do love freaks. My Bi-poly-trans-pagan-geeks are some of the nicest, coolest, most interesting people I've ever met. But if Freak Revolution was meant to give them a place to feel comfortable where they're not in the minority for being freaks, then I'm the one in the minority.
In the Freak Revolution, I am the freak, sticking out like a... well, like a freak.
I have no problem with being a freak. I actually find myself wishing I could be freakier... you know, so I could fit in? But that's not who I am. I think there was a point in my life where I had two options: be a freak, or be a Norm. I had no problem with either path. There's a little freak inside me who whispers in my ear every now and again: Wouldn't dying your hair blue be seriously AWESOME?!? But I don't because I chose a path of being a brown-haired mommy. I'm ok with that. I'm just a little boring. Sometime in the future I might give in, just to get a taste of the freak within. But it hasn't happened yet.
I think the biggest problem I have with the freaks is that they keep asking me what I think is wrong with the world. And I do think there are some wrong things. But really, I think the world's a pretty cool place and the things that are wrong with it have to do with people trying to pretend to be things they aren't. Like people who will do anything to become rich when their most marketable ability is that they're willing to hurt people for money, or people who choose to believe that people who are different aren't worth love, respect, or dignity. I think most if not all of the world's problems wittle down to these at their core.
So I'm going to take a tip from my Freaky Friends and be the change I wish to see in the world.
My name is Green. I am not a Freak, but I am Freak-Positive. I am not willing to hurt people for money, power, or esteem. I think that people who are freaky deserve love, respect, and dignity.
Unfortunately, this makes me different from a good majority of my peers. Hey, I think I just found my freaky-thing.
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